What dog is that?
That’s Bacon.
Will she be at the wedding?
Sadly, no.
Don’t you have another dog?
We do! Her name is Biscuit.
Why isn’t she on the site?
Because she’s really dumb and would probably find a way to choke on it.
Should I drive?
No.
How easy is it to drive?
It isn’t.
Can I bring my children?
Not unless they’re invited. We want them there – really! But sadly, we have a pretty hard cap on how many guests we can invite, and so we weren’t able to invite many kids at all. As we get R.s.v.p.s in, we’ll know where we have some free spots – so if you can’t come without your kids, let us know and we’ll put them at the top of the list.
Wait a minute – OTHER people are bringing their kids??
Yes. It’s nothing personal. All kids are treasures, but we just like some more than others. NO, I’M KIDDING – It’s just we knew at the outset some of our out-of-town friends couldn’t make it without theirs, so they were included from the beginning. Sorry.
Can I bring my dog?
*glare* No.
What about my cat?
No.
Budgerigar?
Only if it’s contained in a cage and that cage is woven into tremendous wig.
What in the world do you mean by “Dark Jeans?”
I don’t know. It’s some pretentious hipster thing where if you wear jeans that are dark they count as dress clothes. Around here, Austin I mean, that’s about as fancy as some people get. The point is I don’t really care what you wear, I just want you there. Some people will be dressed all fancy, some people much less so. David is refusing to wear a tie to his own wedding, so, you know, all bets are off.